Nature Girl

Mr. Hiaasen, who consistently titles his adult fiction works with two words only, plots stories around that which he finds irritating, bothersome, unjust, despicable, insane, outrageous, criminal, and unreasonable in the state of Florida. Nature Girl points at the telemarketing industry, treatment of the Seminole Indians over the years, tourism in the Everglades, as well as
self-induced drug and alcohol abuse. The son of a Broward County judge, CH long ago became fed-up by all that has led to the flogging of his native state; he currently writes an editorial column for the Miami Herald. A gifted raconteur and cheerleader for the environment, Mr. Hiaasen sticks a satirical knife in and turns it at all that provokes and peeves him. In the end, the bad guy always gets exactly what he deserves.

Honey Santana, Louis Piejack and Boyd Shreave are the latest of his loony and bizarre characters. Just how can he imagine these twisted and surreal persons and write continuously, novel after novel, about their escapades? Reflect on this. Not long ago, and in the wee hours of the night, a middle-aged, coked-up drifter passes out at the perimeter of a swampy wetland in Central Florida (sans apparel). Occupants in nearby homes were awakened by insistent and fearsome screaming. It seems the “nekkid ole boy” came to and found himself being dragged out to deeper waters in the choppers of one incredibly hefty gator. True story. The paramedics, firemen and policemen who rescued him accounted events of the previous night on the morning show circuit the next day. I watched and listened to them. Inspiration for yet another way out character in an imminent Carl Hiaasen novel methinks.

Easy to read, if you dare, his books require that you possess an open sense of humor to be understand. Chuckle and giggle you will.

Next in the pile of books to read…. Divining Women by Kaye Gibbons.

Something I might say...

Iced tea is too pure and natural a creation

not to have been invented as soon as tea, ice, and hot weather crossed paths.

~John Egerton~

You might be a Floridian if...

A friend sent this to my email today. I have just returned from Florida and having lived there as a young child through college years, found these to be oh so very true. Enjoy and giggle!

"Down South" means Key West

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too.

Socks are only for bowling.

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.

Tap water makes you vomit.

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit. (Added: or a fish!)

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,not summer but really hot, and Christmas.

It's not "pop." It's "soda" or "coke."

Anything under 70 is chilly.

You've hosted a hurricane party.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka ,Loxahatchee and Micanopy.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the NRA and a confederate flag.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!

You could swim before you could read.

You have to drive north to get to "The South."

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread love bug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list.

They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.

You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You were twelve before you ever saw snow.

Yet, another road trip

Off to the Sunshine State for some work and play. Be back soon. Don't go away! It is okay to rain buckets while I am absent. My lawn is parched.

Travel notes: New York City

Back from New York with lots to share!

Dining pleasures:

Gotham Bar and Grill ~ Greenwich Village ***

A visit to the bar with a chatty and friendly barkeep began the evening. Superb service awaited us at a white-clothed table. Starting with a yummy chilled English pea soup, I chose the salmon entrée to follow. The Colonel settled for sea bass followed by a flourless chocolate cake which appeared more like pudding in a solid form to me, although he enjoyed it. Seriously consider making a reservation here for sure.

Bouley ~ Tribeca/SoHo ****

Straight away, the aroma of apples is revealed as wooden fruit boxes containing freshly plucked apples, still with leaves and stems (envision the orchard scenes from The Cider House Rules) align the right side of the vestibule. The opposite side features a shelf also arranged with rows of apples. Where oh where can apples so fragrant be located in the summer months?? Nice surprising touch. Though dim and cavernous with a sort of rathskellar replication, the ambiance is pleasing with walls painted a deep red and gothic architecture within. Definitely located over the subway line; one can feel the thunder of the passing trains under the feet. This is the restaurant that “keeps on giving”. Served on Havilland china, additional courses of palate cleansing sorbet, a supplemental plate of mashed potatoes and a take-home sized, rich lemon pound cake from the bakery appeared, all good wishes from the chef. The Colonel requested a bread pudding for dessert. Although not ordered, a crème brulee arrived for me, yes, also compliments of the chef. All delicious, by the way. Order modestly here; lots of gratis offerings. Service at Bouley is stellar, though somewhat over-bearing. At times, a minimum of 4-5 servers hawk the table and watch your every move awaiting the fulfillment of their duties, be it replenishing drink or bread or clearing plateware and flatware. One more thing. Blazers (jackets) are a requirement for dining here. Bouley is definitely worth a second visit another time.

Tao ~ located next to The Four Seasons Hotel **

A youthful, club-bound clientele will be found here. A humongous Buddha and koi pond is situated at one end of the main dining room. Skipping wine this eve, we opted for Red Dragons, specialty cocktails made of Absolut, grapefruit juice and a splash of pomegranate juice. Tasty and refreshing, a nice alternative to wine as a precursor for Asian cuisine. Food was average, not necessarily exciting. Spring rolls were large and heavy. The Colonel tried the sushi which he found to be tasty. I pass. None for me, thanks. Sushi = bait. Following the meal, a plate topped with two chocolate fortune cookies arrived along with an advertisement suggesting the purchase of a CD featuring the deep, pulsing music which is being played while one is dining. Too much marketing for my experience and slightly tacky, no?

Locale highlights:

Paul Poiret exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art- Observations here include: empire waistlines, lowered waistlines, parasols, “outrageous for the era” harem pants, Greco-Roman and Oriental influence, whale-bone stays, lack of corsetry, tunics, cloaks, chitons, caftans, bold colors, beaded and plumed head wear and slippers, hoop skirts, bullion and fur trimmings, padded hip rolls, sweeping front and back necklines, slender and graceful lines with very little stitching , lavish galas and parties, richly detailed perfume bottles containing a fragrance called “Rosine” named for his daughter. Poiret has been credited as the first couturier to utilize inventive marketing strategies for his fashions and products. Lovely exhibit and well worth a visit.


NYPL on Fifth Avenue at 42nd Street- Two guarding lions, pensive and regal, greet and escort visitors inside. Beautiful oak library tables with numbered spaces once meant for books, pencils and paper, are now lined with laptops, PC’s, IPods and assorted other wired and wireless tools… and a few books. Gorgeous architecture worth viewing.

Charlotte Moss townhouse- Visitors may peruse the 1st through 5th floor of this opulent, well-appointed and renovated home, skipping the fourth as it accommodates offices. The Colonel sat, reading the book he brought along in the stunning library which features volumes of design, gardening, fashion , hospitality, biography and even a copy of Charlotte’s Web, while I wandered. Areas of interest to me: Terraces on 1st and 5th floors with black trellises and ivy topiaries, bistro/ wicker furnishings…simple, yet inviting. High gloss lime-colored paint decorates the walls in the dining room. Subtle grey wallpaper in stairwells is meant to resemble brickwork. Lovely. Glass fronted, built-in cupboards in most every room, showcasing Ms. Moss’s signature items. A guard stands sentry at the front door, so behave yourself, please. Located close by Central Park; don’t miss this treat as you stroll the Park.

Ralph Lauren flagship store on Madison Avenue- This club-like showcase offers limited items for purchase, although an ample selection of men’s suits await tailoring. I even overheard a salesperson suggest to a shopper that they could visit the RL outlet to purchase towels of a certain color! :/ Nonetheless, an elegantly restored home by Mr. Lauren. Notably featured was the nautically-themed bedroom filled with a antique oak bed and cabinetry, baskets, surfboards and a hanging skiff. Silver beaded dresses on mannequins resembled renditions of Poiret’s fashions as seen earlier. Stop in for a peek, absolutely, and be sure to ride the elevator and climb the stairwell while there.

Jersey Boys- As a child of the 60’s and 70’s, I thoroughly enjoyed this chronicle of the climbing of the ladder up to fortune and fame for Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, although tickets to these Broadway productions are way over-priced.

This was a fabulous journey to a most beautiful city for me and the Colonel.

Monday morning cleomes

Upon returning from NYC, the cleomes, also known as “spider flowers” are in full bloom. Many find them unsuitable for gardens calling them weeds. Aren’t all indigenous plants really weeds? I find them to be extraordinarily colorful and graceful. In the fall, I will save the slender bean-like seedpods for planting next spring.

Soon to follow will be the details of my latest journey. Don't go away!

New York, New York

Off to NYC; will be back soon. I will be "snapping the digital"

to bring back lots of pics to share.

Happy Independence Day to all!

Enjoy a fabulous day on “the Fourth” with your friends and family! Take a moment to bear in mind how fortunate we are to live in a vast and opportune nation.